Staying with Host Families

It's always daunting, the idea of living with a host family abroad. How can I settle into a whole new family with their quirks and established schedules? What if they don't like me? 

My host home - Uganda

I've stayed with a host family on three different occasions now:
- In Sanga, Nepal for a month (June - July 2010)
- In Juaso, Ghana for 5 days  (April 2011)
- In Bududa, Uganda for a month (June - July 2012) 

Each of these experiences have been unforgettable, each in their own little way. You are truly immersed in the culture staying with a local family. You realise that your humanity runs deeper then your differences. You are able to connect, to love and to embrace another family in a completely new environment.

With two new homestay trips coming up (Korea and Nicaragua), I thought I'd write this post in order to share my experiences of living with another family. I always worry beforehand: that I won't gel with a new family, that our cultural differences will induce awkwardness or that they will just find me plain annoying. I'm hoping that this blog post will give people a clearer insight into what its like staying with an international host family and the wonderful generosity and love that you can experience from it. 

Bududa, Uganda

My flight landed at 3:00am and I was met by Emmanuel and Robert. It was pitch black outside as we drove through Entebbe and central Kampala. It was a 4 hour drive to the village. For the first hour, I was running on excitement and wide-eyed interest, trying to take in the sights of the city, the sugar-cane plantation and the river Nile. I crashed soon after, waking up to a bright morning in Bunabumali hours later. 

Upon arrival, I was introduced to mum, dad, Esther, Joy, Eseza and Mathieu. I had a tour of the school, dropped my things into my room and marvelled at the lush, green hills surroundings. 

Dilemma, night 1. There was a big, evil looking black fly inside my mosquito net. I sat on my bed, armed with a towel in an attempt to swat it out. I shook the net. It buzzed and I let out a involuntarily whimper. I try to gather my thoughts. Come ON! you are x100 the size of this thing, why are you letting it get the better of you?! I battle with it for 30 minutes until I give in. 

I knock tentatively on my 'parents' door. "Mum?" I ask. "Sorry, there's a big fly on my bed." I feel like a kid. I feel bad for getting her out of bed, on my first night. 

She expertly swipes the fly out of the bed with her hands and says she's glad I called her, because they bite. 

Tsetse Fly

It always takes me a few days to settle in, but my Ugandan family couldn't have been more welcoming. Eseza, my host sister, was my age. We often bantered/laughed. The kids were delighted at my presence, drawing out joy and laughter from the everyday encounters. 

Uprooting beans with the kids. 

Patience, a little three year old, was absolutely terrified of me. She would cover her eyes and cry whenever she saw me. Joy reassured me that it was nothing personal, it was just that she'd never seen a foreigner before. It took a fortnight or so but I gradually gained her trust. 

I settled in through engaging in the everyday family activities. I helped out with the cooking, peeling beans and with the water collection. I was surrounded by children who had so little but they loved, laughed and contributed to chores endlessly and diligently. 

A chicken on the sofa!? (Laying an egg as I found
out later)

Kitchen Duty  (I was pretty bad at  keeping the fire going...)

After a fortnight, I moved down to sleep with my host sisters, due to mosquito bite issues. We shared a single bed but I loved it, we often spent the night chatting away. I started to get really attached to Emily, a 9 year old in P4. We often spent evenings together playing chase, cooking dinner, gathering pumpkin leaves for cooking and exploring the local area. I watched her expertly climb a mango tree, fearing for her safety as she got higher and higher. 

She embraced and laughed at my 'mzungu' (foreigner) attempts to do things and took joy in teaching me. I could never swing an axe accurately to chop wood. My knife skills were worse then that of a 10 year old in Uganda. A teenage girl could hold heavier loads of water then me. I loved trying and Emily loved watching. We bonded through activity and the language barrier was never an issue.

   Helping Albert (the headteacher) mix posho

   (a lot harder then it looks!)                                                 

        Eseza and I messing about at Sipi Falls          

My host Mum 

           Taking goods down from Nametsi (heard the kids sniggering behind me when they took the photo!)

  

I remember feeling a deep sense of dread at my impending departure date. I didn't want to leave, I could've stayed an extra year...I tried to be dignified about it, but I really wasn't. I don't like crying in front of other people, but I was a sobbing wreck. Emily whispered "Don't go" when I hugged her tightly. I said sorry to her over and over. I loved her and I would've happily adopted her as a daughter. 
I cried all the way to the airport, and I rarely cry. By the time I boarded the flight, I must've looked pretty awful. Even on the flight, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I cried quietly onto the pillow, pretending to be asleep. Hopefully the person next to me wasn't too mortified. 

I loved my Ugandan family. Staying with them was a great leveller. It's always reminded me to stay grounded and to value family, love and to work hard. I experienced a bit of culture shock back in the UK. There is so much advertising....Why does everyone have so many accessories?  Pavements when I was used to dirt tracks. Technology when I was used to family time.
I made some wonderful bonds in Uganda and I will return soon.

Emily

Juaso, Ghana

I came across this placement through 'ISH Events'. It was a wonderful opportunity, at £400.00 for a 2 week BUNAC placement for building a sanitation block for a school. (The flight to Ghana itself is £400+!). 

Ghana Team 

We were split into pairs and each assigned a host family for our five day stay at Juaso Village. I was partnered with Carlota and we had a incredibly warm welcome, with our host dad preparing coconuts from a nearby tree for us.

Host Mum

Host Dad

We had five intensive days of construction: mixing cement using spades, wheelbarrowing rocks, digging foundations and layering bricks. 

Manual cement mixing:
turning water and cement mix
 using the spade.

Digging Foundations to fill with cement.

             

Building...

The finished sanitation cubicles! 

Our Ghanaian host family were gracious and welcoming, we had a wonderful array of meals and it was lovely returning 'home' to a family who were smiley and friendly. 

It was a short stay, but the bonds were wonderful. Lorenzo, one of my team mates, proceeded to return to Ghana a few months later to reunite with his family back in the village. We had a departure party and gave our families gifts from the UK.

My old JustGiving Link: http://www.justgiving.com/Thidarat-Udomritkul

Sanga, Nepal

Sanga, Nepal

I was 19 on my first solo trip: happy and idealistic but very nervous! I met up with Sangita at the airport, and we drove one hour from Kathmandu to Sanga. She struggled with my name: "Tii thida?". She looked at me for a few seconds. "Can I call you Maya? Mum will find it easier to pronounce. It means Love in Nepali."

I was delighted at having a nickname and I completely took to it, it is a name I still love to this day.

I stayed at 'Namaste Peace Home', helping out with general duties at the orphanage such as cooking and homework help, taking the kids to school and helping out in the classroom. I was soon joined by more volunteers, Oihana and Ivan, from Spain. I forged so many wonderful friendships whilst in Nepal. It was an eye-opening experience that built the foundation for the passion I have for travelling and volunteering now. 

Uday, a teacher I met in Nepal, was kind and considerate. He accompanied me to various trips I took around the local area and invited me to meet his mum in Panauti. We rode on bus rooftops together, ate pani-puri by the roadside and trekked up to Banepa to a metal structure with a panoramic view.

I absolutely adored my host mum. I thought she was beautiful, because she smiled so much. She would often sing-song my name in the morning when the chai tea was ready. I helped to collect grass for the cows and plant rice in the fields, and I loved it.

This was covered in another blogpost titled 'The Kindness of Strangers', but a day before I was due to fly out, my bag (with my passport in) was stolen whilst I browsed in a market. In a nutshell, it was only through the undue kindness and generosity of others that I was able to stay in the country for a further 5 days without a single penny on me. I will always remember this: that kindness and goodwill have no limit. 

Trip Tips

• Hopefully the post gave you a good insight of staying with a host family, without being too rambly. 
• Be helpful. Host families aren't just for 'hosting'. I think the relationship is two-fold, throw yourself into things and always ask if families need a hand with something, they often do.
• Don't be too fussy with food. My Ugandan mum took great delight when I told her I really liked the food (posho kind of...).
• Go alone. You really fall into just being you when you're going solo. There are no dynamics and you really get to bond with your family.
• Be thoughtful. If its someone's birthday, buy an unexpected present. I think it's always the thought that counts. 
• It is daunting, I always get worried before I go and you'll never be at ease straight away. Go in with a open mind and heart. 
• Are there lots of logistics? Not really. I would highly recommend Volunteer East (http://volunteereast.blogspot.co.uk), for genuine, grassroots charity projects. For Nepal, I paid 400 rupees a day for my homestay inclusive of everything (£20.00 a week).

Yes, I've been to a Ugandan landslide site

Bududa 26th June 2012

I felt compelled to write this after watching "The Impossible", a film highlighting the devastating effects that nature can have. 

I was staying in the village of Bunabumali, in the mountainous district of Bududa, Uganda. The district is characterised by lush, green rolling hills, dotted with clay houses with shiny tin roofs and diverse farmland plots which grow coffee pods, avocado/matoke trees and green beans.

Without electricity in the village, word of the landslide spread via mobile phone. On the day, the school was buzzing with rumours about the estimated devastation of the landslide, the death-toll and the hows/whys of what happened.
The next day, in casual "African" style, the teachers arranged a small school trip to the landslide site, a 3 hour walk away.

I accompanied the children, hand in hand with many students who insisted upon walking within a massive congregation with me. We passed villages and schools, occasionally stopping to wash our feet. Despite the moderate climate, I flushed red as the effort of walking in the heat got to me. Despite the tiredness, I was in good spirits, as the surroundings remained picturesque, green and beautifully tranquil. The children were incredibly good natured and chatty, laughing whenever I attracted stares from the locals and frequent comments of "muzungu! (white person/foreigner) how are you!?" 

The site of the landslide became visible from 40 minutes walk away, a large dark brown spot in the  midst of tropical hills. As we got closer, I felt a shift in the atmosphere characterised by worried onlookers, the military, and media crews that brought to reality the extent of the landslide. 
I saw TV crews and the Ugandan Red Cross. Armed guards and the police drove past in open air jeeps. 

We walked up a steep slope towards Arlington International School, a school famous in Bududa due to it's sponsorship links with American companies. The crowd density increased as we proceeded to walk up steeper and steeper. 

My visit to Arlington School, to a music show a week before. 

At the landslide site, many areas were cordoned off with tape. Crowds and crowds of people came to witness the damage with a calm yet solemn demeanour. Deep holes, fallen trees, rubble, running water , wet soil and broken houses represented the small community that once resided on the hills.

Emotionally, the day was a blur for me. I remember thinking "Why?, Why here?" How can I help? I was angry at the injustice and frustrated at the lack of emergency support. I couldn't comprehend how something so devastating could happen just through nature's course. 

I took the boda-boda back to the village with Joy and Eseza (my host sisters). I realized that the risks of landslides in Bududa are very real. The land is intensively farmed. Digging loosens the soil, the hills are steep and the monsoon rain spells can be long and heavy. 

Behind the risk of landslides, lies the livelihood of the Ugandan people, where land is their biggest asset and subsistence farming feeds the family. I truly wish that natural disasters could not happen. We often read about earthquakes, tsunamis and floods in far-flung destinations and we underestimate the extent of these events and the permanent scar that they leave behind.  
Witnessing the site of the landslide first-hand made me realise how impermanent everything is and how vulnerable we are to forces/processes far stronger then us. I feel I matured a lot through just seeing it that day and never before had I felt such deep sorrow for people I did not know. 

Secondary Sources 
- http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-18595913 (BBC News Pictures)
- http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jun/26/uganda-landslides-dead-villages-destroyed (The Guardian Article)

An Introverted Traveller with extrovert actions?

Psychologically, I have been defined as a ISFP. To be extrovert one is a risk taker, talkative/powerful and energized by stimulation. An introvert focuses more on their internal environment through thoughts, feelings and ideas.

Travelling almost represents a paradox between the two personality types.

Introvert: 
A solo traveller implicates the need for space away from societal expectation, where one can absorb new environments, new cultures and experience the personal reflective growth that travelling abroad can bring about.

Extrovert:
On the other hand, solo travelling implicates being a risk taker, the desire for action and stimulation and the ability to soak in new environments and be at ease with meeting new people.

It is so often that we revert to stereotypes to categorise people who travel. Examples include:

The Full Moon Part-ier: 

The hippie:

The 'Gap Yah's

The Tourists

Lets start by breaking apart these stereotypes. Regardless of who we are, we travel because we are unified by the same thing, the desire to see the world. Whether introverted or extroverted, we all have different travel styles and there isn't a perfect way of travelling that we should all strive towards. A introvert may be more attuned towards a slower paced life of travel whilst extroverts may embrace a adventure holiday. 

In Nepal, I found no greater joy then quietly observing the rolling mountains of Pokhara, reflected on Phewa Lake. Yet on balance, meeting other like-minded travellers and locals alike also became a defining part of my trip.  

Being loud or quiet does not define what we can or cannot do nor does it indicate our potential or spirit. I am introverted yet adventurous, sensitive yet stubborn and clumsy yet rational. There isn't a defining factor that separates one type of traveller from another and the only suggestion I'd make is to go with everything with a open mind, and endless opportunities and experiences will come your way. 

The Kindness of Strangers

"Are you a student?" 

"No, I've graduated now"
"Are you lost? Where do you need to get to?"
"Just a bit. I can't remember the address, I think it's called Homerton house" 
"Let me go check with Chrissy in the laundrette and I'm sure she'll know where it is"

This was a random encounter on the street last weekend. I was just walking, it didn't cross my mind at all that I looked lost. 
The guy helping me went into two different local shops to help me find where I needed to go to. As I left he told me to "walk with purpose" and not to walk back at night alone within the area.

It is incredible how collectively as humans, we instinctively act to help each other and to do good deeds. Just yesterday on my bus ride home, I twitched as a blind man got onto the bus. I wanted to help him. Before I could, another guy stood up and led him straight to his seat. 

The encounters I have with friendly local people are integral within my travel experiences and form part of the reason as to why I love embracing the unknown. The kindness of strangers reinstates my faith in humanity. It keeps me optimistic and it reminds me that we have free reign on our capacity to do good deeds.

Below are a few personal experiences that I've had abroad.

Nepal
I lost the most important item that a traveller would have. My Passport. 
I was 19 and it was my first time of being abroad independently. I was hysterical. I was due to fly out the next day, and my backpack was snatched whilst I was kneeling on a crowded street, looking at a DVD market stall. 

Instead of being rational about it, I did nothing but cry for a few hours. Morag (A fellow SOAS girl I met in Nepal a few days before) helped me through everything. She accompanied me to the police station, lent me £100 for a emergency passport, helped me at the embassy and looked up the Jet Airways offices so I could rebook a flight. 
I met this girl a few days ago. She could have walked away or criticised me for being absent-minded, instead she went out of her way to help me, instilling her trust in me and lending out £100 to a girl she met only a few days ago. 

Sangita took me back to her home in Sangha. I had zero funds, as it was my last day of the trip and my bank card was it my bag too. She took me back via motorbike, and she insisted I stayed with her family whilst all the travel documentations/flights were sorted out.

To this day, my parents don't know that my passport got nicked. I called over the phone that day, mumbling something vague about a over-booked flight so I had to stay for 5 more days. Overall, It was out of the goodwill of others that I was able to stay in Nepal for a further 5 days, without a single penny on me... 

A knock can always make you stronger. A single theft wouldn't and hasn't put me off travelling solo. I've learnt to be more careful and to never hold more then what I need. Better yet, I've learnt to appreciate modest things. I see travellers with £500+ photographic equipment on them, iPhones and laptops that amount to the yearly wage of a local person in the area. 
And I wonder, how would you feel if you lost that? When you bring little, you risk little. 

All the little things
A small random act of Kindness can create such a difference in your day. Here are a few of the little encounters I've had abroad that always brings a smile. 

• I was adventuring alone in Uganda. After volunteering for 3 weeks, I went off for some white water rafting, bungee jumping, canoeing in Lake Victoria and a safari. I was on my way back to Bududa to bid farewell to my family and to collect my suitcase. I had a small scrunch of paper in my hand with the bus directions back home to the little village of Bunabumali. I sat on the bus, trying to work up the courage to ask the guy next to me. Instead, he offered his help without prompt, pointing out that we were approaching Mejeme Corner and that I could catch a boda-boda straight up to the village from there. 

• I parked my bike outside a shop in Pokhara. I didn't have a bike lock and I wanted to do a quick one hour trek up to Sarangkot to see the view of the Himalayas. The lady running the shop watched me curiously, asking what I was doing. I told her I wanted to go up to Sarangkot but I had a bike with me. She offered to look after it for me while I was away. After I came back, we got chatting and she introduced me to her daughter. I brought a little elephant statue from them which I still have until this day.

Pokhara, Nepal.

• Maltese Lady: *pops her head out of the shop* "Where are you going to? Rabat? Walk five minutes down the road and the buses come much more regularly, here they only come once an hour".

• Local love: Soph and I were at the beach in Camber. We set up our towels and left our bags on the soft sandy bank, where the water had gone out. When we came back an hour later, the ladies a few metres away from us told us "we moved your things for you, because the water came in". 

Random Acts of Kindness in action (CY)

A few weeks ago, I participated in a Apprentice City Year Task of 
"You have £10.00. Make as much difference to people's lives as possible with it in one day, spending as little as possible". 

There were many ideas across the table. Buy people some bananas. Give them hugs. Go to random charities. Volunteer in a children's ward. Go to a homeless shelter. It was thrilling, because it was uncoordinated. 

We split into two sub teams, with three people in each. We started off small, picking up stray pieces of litter to improve the image of the local area (Elephant and Castle). We then proceeded to Salvation Army and Age Concern, where we had no luck in finding any impromptu voluntary work that we could help with.

Soon, our sub team randomly stumbled across "Waterloo Hub". Upon entry, the venue was empty. We bumped into a lady and explained our situation, that we were a youth charity organisation assigned to make a difference in one day. Her eyes lit up, she explained how she was moving all the board games/Arts and crafts equipment into three new cupboards in the Youth Centre. 

Ashton and I got onto this straight away, clearing and setting up the cupboards in a little over an hour. The third member of our team bravely ventured around the area solo, looking for more good deeds that we could potentially do. 

Waterloo Hub

After Waterloo Hub, we went into Elephant and Castle shopping centre. I approached the manager in Iceland, explained our situation, and we asked him if we could help the customers bag pack for a short while. 
Although I was doing such a small thing, it genuinely surprised me when people acknowledged me, smiled and thanked me really warmly. Some of the customers engaged in a bit of banter too, asking if I wanted to go to their's and cook dinner for them too.

With City Year and Travelling, I was reminded of a wonderful phenomenon that we all know of, yet we forget to put into practice. "Do Good, Feel Good". 

Modern day society has ingrained that we should we be weary of others, that we shouldn't return a smile because there is that tiny chance that the person could be a axe murderer. We all need to remember that there is so much happiness that can be born out of virtue, we just need to go out there and act upon it. 

First post, yay. International Primate Rescue

Writing a blog always struck as a weird idea to me. Someone publicly reading your perspective and view on things? Naaah.

But it's been 2 days since returning from International Primate Rescue, South Africa. I can't stop thinking about it. I've had a amazing time, and my love for animals has trebled tenfold. I miss living in a dormitory with 10 other people. I miss frozen soup for lunch and stew concoctions for dinner. Even the freezing cold nights wrapped in a sleeping bag, 2 blankets, with a hot water bottle and a flurry accompaniment of cats or a dog on the bed.

I thought blogging would be a great means of reflection. I'm a travel junkie. It's always the small things that make travelling so wonderful, so when faced with the forever reoccurring question of  "How was your trip?" The reply is always along the lines of simple, one worded replies such as "Good" or "Great".
It's incredibly difficult describing vocally all the crazy little happenings abroad, the amazing people you meet and the things you see. Hopefully my blog will give you a better insight of my trip to South Africa (and maybe other countries too) and what I got up to :).